Finding the right tutor can be a daunting and frustrating task. Which is why most parents look for referrals and recommendations from their friends. However, here is where we parents sometimes fail to look out for the right factors that matter.

Well, look at all the literature advising us on tutoring and how to find a good tutor. Here is a sample of some of the common points raised.

1. Punctuality

2. Respect

3. Knowledgeable in Subject

4. Motivating

5. Passion

While these are all valid points, the big question is how are we parents go about in assessing each tutor on this and how do we gauge what is good enough?

Take motivating for example, different people can be motivated differently depending on our personality. Children are no different. Each child has a different personality and hence may not respond to the same approach from a tutor.

There is no one size fits all. Many of my friends who are teachers have told me that a teacher considers her or himself to be successful when they can reach 60-75% of a class on a given lesson. It is not that the teacher is ineffective or incompetent. It is a fact, that each approach a teacher employ at any given time will only appeal to certain groups of personalities. This is also the reason why tutoring is necessary for most students to excel.

So how can you tell what your child needs? Well, first you begin by looking at your child’s learning traits and personalities.

Then find a tutor that is as compatible as you can get to his traits based on his needs. Think of a time when you meet someone whom you just met but somehow it felt like you have known each other for a long time. Think of how comfortable you were with that person. Chances are you have just met someone who has compatible traits to your own.

One point to note: compatibility does not necessarily mean similar trait at times. Sometimes complementary traits are more important in certain instances.

How would you like to engage a tutor that not only helps guides your child in their studies but inspires him or her to develop excitement and passion about the topic? » Read more: Find Me A Tutor That Fits My Child

Every human being experiences a sense of abandonment. Call it “part of the earth game.” From the moment the physical body slides out of the birth canal, the very first physiological impression is… LOSS.

Impression number two is survival through alerting everyone in the room that loss and abandonment are being experienced. It will never feel the same. Security will not be as secure, safety as safe. The womb’s protective fluid shell is gone… never to return.

In its place is the possibility of freedom – at least once you get the hang of having a body to use to play the liberation game. You chose it. You said, “Give me a human body and I’ll go to earth and create magnificent experiences.” And here you are in earth!

Around the age of two, you really began to understand: I AM Me! You are You! Never the twain shall meet. So with this new energy bombarding you, you began to learn that whatever you wished to give power to through your thought form would become real virtually instantaneously and you would feel the energetic effect of it.

All limitations were off and your little feet began the grand exploration. Forgotten was the sense of abandonment in the delight and glory of discovering this world. You saw yourself standing tall in your divinity, in complete perfection, living life in complete delight, embracing, expecting the desires of life to be in your reality… and they were … until…

You got to be about six and began going to school… the place of many rules, peer group pressure, right and wrong (in a very difficult way), proving yourself as capable as the next child, bringing home good grades… on and on it went. The separation between you and the “other” became very distinct and, unless you measured up, you were an outcast… and you believed it was true. You lost trust in yourself… because you had given it away.

So now, here you are – mature, grown up and “living life” or so it seems. But the abandonment is back because all of the years between when you had forgotten loss and this moment are now filled with a magnification of “not enough”, “not good enough” and “unable to live up to expectations.”

What is missing in your life is the ability to trust yourself… the same trust you had when you were two and letting each new distraction attract you. Now, always, there is an authority. Always, there is someone to become like, something to change, something to control, and always, there is the comparative mind, the mind that says this is better than that, this is preferable to that.

In a word, there is judgment. It prevents the possibility of being comfortable in your own skin. It stops you from feeling connected to others. It creates adversity, polarity and the world of black and white. Judgment, fear, lack of trust – these are the fibers that weave the veil together. There is judgment about presence, judgment about absence, judgment about the seen and unseen and, of course, there is the wish to become something other than what you are.

Beneath it all is this belief: I’m not Ok as I am. You’re not Ok as you are. Nothing is ever loved, just rejected. This is what perpetuates the self-help machine. This is what creates the combativeness and the conflict, both within and without, and religion and spirituality have become part of this machine. They have crippled love. They are maintaining separation, hence the veil. » Read more: Abandoning Abandonment